12 February . 2016
3 Inspiring Ted Talks on All Types of Love
As Valentine’s Day fast approaches, love is in the air and on the brain. There are so many questions to consider — which flowers to get your beloved, what to write in the card, and what to do for your family members? As you consider the best way to show your loved ones how much you care, consider the advice of the following Ted Talks about the different aspects of successful and meaningful love. For those not familiar with Ted Talks, they are a lecture series of 20-minute talks by experts in various fields.
You may be wondering why we’ve included talks that discuss loving yourself, your parents or your kids in addition to romantic love. In the book Mansfield Park, Jane Austen writes, “There are as many forms of love as there are moments in time.” While Valentine’s Day may be a celebration of romantic love, the holiday also gives us the opportunity to consider the many ways we love.
Most people yearn for human connection, yet many go through their lives never feeling truly accepted. Researcher Brené Brown set out to understand the factors behind human connection — our ability to belong, love and empathize. In this funny and insightful talk (one of the most-watched talks in the history of Ted Talks), she shares her findings.
According to her research, Brown argues that “in order for connection to happen, we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen,” the very definition of vulnerability. How people approach that vulnerability determines if they’re eventually able to make a human connection. “Those who have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they’re worthy of love and belonging. That’s it. That’s the only difference. The one thing that keeps us out of connection is our fear that we’re not worthy of connection.” Brown suggests that to increase your capacity to feel worthy of love, you need to develop your capacity for courage, compassion and authenticity. Listen to the full talk to learn how!
When Mandy Len Catron was 29, she was dealing with the aftermath of a bad break-up and was struggling to feel like she would never be able to make a life with a different person. So she turned to science, hoping that if she armed herself with the knowledge of romantic love, she would never have to feel lonely again. She found a study that suggested that people can grow emotionally closer to one another by answering a series of increasingly personal questions, then staring into one another’s eyes for four straight minutes. She decided to test the experience with an acquaintance and much to her surprise, they fell in love. She went on to publish an article in the New York Times titled, “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This.” Much to her surprise, the article produced a hailstorm of media attention, with everyone asking one question — “Are you still in love?”
In her charming talk, Catron talks about the difference between transient love and sustainable love. She remarks that everyone wanted to know if she was still in the relationship because they were desperate to find a love shortcut, a guarantee that if they tried this experiment, they would be loved not just today and tomorrow, but that they would continue to be loved by their partner indefinitely. They wanted the happy ending implied by the title of her article.
Catron states that the experiment she tried was nothing more than a mechanism for getting to know someone quickly, and, in her case, for falling in love. “But falling love is not the same as staying in love,” she remarks. “That’s the easy part.” Catron then poses a series of insightful questions that help us determine ways we can improve the quality of the love we are giving. “What I have is the chance to choose to love someone and the hope that he will choose to love me back.”
Are you still curious if they stayed together? You’ll just have to watch to the end to find out!
Just days after Roberto D'Angelo and Francesca Fedeli’s son Mario was born, the little boy suffered a prenatal stroke, taking the right half of his brain in its wake. Over the next few years, the pair worked with him incessantly to help him develop his ability to use the left side of his body.
Several years later, the couple was using a special therapy technique when they noticed something startling. The technique they were using is called mirror neurons pilot, which essentially means that when you act out a physical motion in front of someone, the same neurons will fire in the person’s brain who is watching as the person actually performing the action. D’Angelo and Fedeli were performing different actions with their hands when they realized Mario was not watching their hands — he was watching their faces. He was picking up on their depressed facial expressions and attitudes. “We realized in that moment that we were looking at him as a problem, not as a son.” How often in our lives do we see the people we love as problems to be fixed, instead of people to be loved?
The couple changed their approach that day, opting instead to take their son with them to the activities they loved, like museums and on day trips. He improved dramatically as a result of their attitude change. Watch through ‘til the end for a heartfelt surprise.
Stay tuned for next week — we’re going to highlight some great ways to upgrade your outdoor patio for spring entertaining.
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